Thursday, August 9, 2012

20 days to the end. And the beginning.

Sleep's a curious thing. You close your eyes, lose yourself in a stream of flashing thoughts and there you go, where you don't feel time or space the way you know it any more. You end one day, one life, one cycle on one end, travel through that surreal place, and start another when you awaken once more.
You dream or you don't, depending on what you ate. What are those anyway? They've tried to figure it out and explain what is it or how it happens, but all admit there's more to it than anyone can tell. A very curious thing.

I get all sorts of thoughts in my head right before I sleep. Some happy, some depressing, some are curiosities, others affirmations. Every now and then I get an idea that I think would be great to work on, but then I get them in that twilight phase when I'm not really ready to get up to get a pen and paper to write them down, and just know I'll have a hard time remembering them in the morning.
All in all, right before going to sleep's one of my most favorite times to think. Everything's quiet and still. No lights, no distractions, no pressing need to finish something else before you can give a thought a minute of your time.

Here are 25 thoughts I get before I sleep

(Am I being a good daughter? Sister? Friend? Partner? Dot in the universe?)
(What's my purpose here? I wonder if my life really matters.)
(It's such an interesting idea that all of mankind, 70 billion people, came from two people. We're all brothers and sisters basically fighting over who gets to stay in which room and who gets to play with which toys.)
(Do you remember the days when you regularly played sports? You're such a slob now. You need to get back in shape.)
(What the hell happened to the Egyptians? What does it mean to be one? Is there any value behind the squiggled borders we have today?)

(Who's a hero?)
(Is everything worth saving?)
(If something would happen to my mother, I'd most probably die right after)
(Maybe I should try making that peanut butter and chocolate truffle sometime.)
(You're entirely capable of doing whatever you set your mind to. And doing it well. But I'm not sure if it's a blessing or a curse.)

(I really don't like her, but I have no obvious reasons why.)
(He wrote my super power is transformation. I wonder what that means.)
(I want to take on THE WORLD!)
(How true is that "chip off the old block" saying anyway?)
(You can know and accept who you are without giving all your quirks or faults free reign to torture other people.)

(Consistency is much better remembered, appreciated and trusted than sporadic grand gestures.)
(I wish I had long, thick, flowy hair.)
(Why can't yummy food just be that, and not be fattening substances.)
(I never realized how easy things were when things were easy.)
(What was the person who thought up roller coasters thinking?)

(I wonder where my perfect spot on Earth is.)
(What if someone absolutely hates gardens and nature and all that. Tough luck in heaven?)
(Saying a word too many times always makes the word sound weird, and makes me question why it was called that way. Lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon, lanshon...)
(When I'll be with the someone who rolls over and goes, “Woman. Stop wondering and SLEEP.”)

ZzZzZz.
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